It's Impossible to Please Everyone

I'm writing this as a reminder to myself not to fret about some people who keeps challenging what I do.
- When I write a lot, it's "too much" - though I think some people would have appreciated it as being thorough
- When I write a short description, it's "too little" and does not have enough justification - but some people might have think it's simple?
Well, there's hardly anytime when the length of what I write is appropriate to some people, these people always have a way to challenge whatever I do.

So I rest my case. Challenge me if you want, I know that some other people would appreciate what I do, and unfortunately, you do not.

~ttg @ Realized Tranquility of the Heart~

Me!

Decided that I will make this month all about me. I will love myself and respect myself. I believe I will be a happier person after this since I am pampering myself so much! Then when I'm happy with me I'm sure I'll be more ready to spread some of the love around to other people. Love starts with me!

~ ttg @ Realised Tranquillity of the Heart~

Hyderabad - a great learning experience

Besides work training, I managed to visit Birla Mandir, an Indian temple made of white marble. This is where my colleague Gaurav introduced me to the characters in Mahabharata and Ramayana. Honestly I don't remember any of those characters by now. What I do remember is his excellent elevator pitch on the Mahabharata epic, that if it were made into a movie, it would be as great as Lord of the Rings, if not greater.

Thereafter, on my way back to Malaysia at the Hyderabad international airport, KS wanted to utilize her remaining Indian rupees, so we went to this book shop after she decided not to buy more kerachi biscuits. She bought a magazine, and I bought an illustrated Mahabharata book by Devdutt Pattanaik. The summary at the back of the book cover caught my attention, and it did its job as another great elevator pitch for Mahabharata.

True enough, the epic was interesting and suits me well. It's a mix of folklore, history and religion. While I know that Buddhism originated from India (and was earlier intrigued by another Indian colleague who tried to tell me about the history of Buddhism from an Indian perspective), I did not realise that Buddhism and India / Hinduism have so much in common. I also did not know that this is where the famous bhagavad gita originated from.

Then I went to read up on Mahabharata ans bhagavad gita on wiki, and found that there are writings suggesting that Buddha is an incarnation of Vishnu, same like Krishna. So this is where my colleague was coming from when he tried to explain that Siddhartha was believed to be incarnation of god Vishnu,which I objected at that time. Clearly this incident is trying to teach me to be more open. I do not know what I do not know. What I perceived as the truth may not be the case because I just do not know what I do not know.

I am very happy with whatever has taken place as I felt that I've learned so much on my religion. Seeing its roots in India, gave me a new perspective of looking at how Buddhism has evolved in India and in China. I'm also thankful to my new friends, however short our encounters were in India, I am grateful to have known you all and grateful that you were part of my spiritual journey. Sadhu!

~ttg @ Realized Tranquility of the Heart~

Today's Accomplisment - 20120417

Today's accomplishment
1. Completed 80% of the IFRS online training, could have completed 100% had the website worked. Good course, introduces accounting in a different perspective and make me understand why they make us study certain principles for accounting. For example, why is there a differentiation between liabilities and equities. I know that liability is what you owe other people, and equity is what the shareholders owned. IAS 32 put it in a light that you categorise things based on their substance and not because of their name. You would classify something as liability whenever you are obliged to repay other people. In IAS 23, it explains when to capitalize something (the rules), and the impact of capitalizing it instead of expensing it, i.e. it will result in higher profit, probably more tax as well? I still have to explore more about this, should a corporating pay more taxes today or in the future? In this case, if I capitalize the borrowing cost, profit is higher today and tax is higher today, but the asset will be depreciated later on, so profit would be lower, tax would be less, and I would have more cash flow in the future? Am not exactly sure if this is the correct logic, but interesting topic..

2. Because the website was down, I had to look for something else to do. So I opened up a file I've saved earlier on "I Moved Your Cheese". It strikes me as very familiar to Buddhist philosophy, in some ways:

When I first read the book, I thought about Buddhism because there was a sentence relating to it teaches people to adapt - I was thinking, isn't that what is preached in Buddhism, to be contented? This book says that, that is a dangerous thing to believe - to adapt - I was thinking, is something wrong with Buddhism to teach people to accept that things change, and to be contented with what you have?

Then it says, not to adapt blindly - again, it fits Buddhism - do not accept things blindly.

It also mentions that the mice are thought that things change, the cheese will diminish and you have to find cheese elsewhere - in line with Buddhism that things will change. But the mice are obsessed with chasing for the cheese day in day out in order to survive. There is no other meaning to life. So are we, we are chasing wealth and pleasure day in day out.

Have we wondered who created our world? Who put the "pleasures" and wealth for us to chase? Someone has created it and waited for us to react to it. We can either be tied to it, or we simply don't care as long as we have enough to survive, or we live for a different reason like BIG. If the "cheese" doesn't bother us, it doesnt control us, and we are free.

How to escape this maze or this samsara?
- By looking for aids to climb higher to see the bigger picture
- By not letting it control our thoughts
- By breaking down the walls

This piece of reflection is written as I think about it, with no thorouh analysis. I might revisit this again, as I just have the feeling that it is connected to the Dharma principles, in some ways.


~ttg @ Realized Tranquility of the Heart~

Complaining

There are so many moments when I feel like complaining, and upon calming down for just a few seconds, it can be traced back to myself on what I can do about it. I supposed this is the difference between someone who can lead and manage, and someone who is doing the work.. I am still at the stage of "doing the work", but well, at least I recognize this thought pattern now. Before I allow my mind or my mouth to complain, if only I can stop and think what I could have done, that would save a lot of downstream confusions and misalignments.

~ttg @ Realized Tranquility of the Heart~

Perception

In this life, it is so clouded with perceptions. I perceive what a person is like based on what I see, no matter how accurate you can get with all those theories on reading a person, I think it is still a perception. Even if you are accurate in a point in time, there's no guarantee that the person would just suddenly change his/her mind because of another influence. So how can we judge or perceive? In management they may say that it is a skill to be able to make the best estimate.. yes, and the best estimate will also go wrong.

I am just a bit tired of the perceptions going on recently, either made by other people or by myself.. I actually felt confused.. and I can see that I am also constantly changing because of what I see and hear. One may also say I am easily swayed, which is true.. but it makes me think of this issue - how much suffering perceptions have caused..

~ttg @ Realized Tranquility of the Heart~

2012 Mar 1

Today I felt the gain and loss and attachment. I was playing the Smurf's Village, I was at level 11, the past few days 8cve been planting crops quite vigorously, only to have the application crashed today. All previous achievement lost and I have to start from level 1 again! Perhaps I'm better off if I deleted the application completely, and save my energy for some other more beneficial things.

The other thing I'm noticing about this new toy of mine, is that I knew before this that there are free apps in the world wide web. But because my laptop isn't that mobile, well, it is mobile but not as mobile as a phone, I can still control the time spent online to a certain extent. But now with the smart phone and 2 data package, it's tempting me to download as much as I can to make full use of the package, which isn't really good.. This is a new world to me. It has change me in a way that I didn't expect...

~ttg @ Realized Tranquility of the Heart~

2012 Feb 27

I haven't been blogging for a while, I actually feel like I am drifting with life's current, and not exactly under control. I am defined by my job, which dictates how I spend my time and even who I make friends with, who I hang out with, where I'll be having my dinner and where and how I'll be spending my weekend. Good in a way, these are all opportunities for me to live and experience what comes along.. but I think I'm lacking in the "control". It would have been nice if I feel that I am in control of what's happening in my life, but I'm not. I'm enjoying a good life, I'm contented, but I feel that because I'm not in control, if things go wrong I may not know how to handle it.

Perhaps "control" isn't such a good word to use, perhaps "awareness" is a better word. I need to be fully aware of what's happening, and I think that would give me a sense of control if I know what's happening.

Last year was a year of awareness.. this year is the starting of who I've been in the past. I have some good emotions stored in my emotional bank from last year, I'd better constantly replenish it before it runs out..

~ttg @ Realized Tranquility of the Heart~

Coughing

Not in good health.. I think due to stress and insufficient sleep. Have been coughing for a few days. Instead of working over the weekend the cough had forced me to take a break instead. Ended up sleeping the whole of Saturday.

~ttg @ Realized Tranquility of the Heart ~

does having a smartphone make u smarter?

Since I hv this phone,I wonder if it changes my life. Well,I supposed I am addicted to it,trying to make full use of it to compensate for the value that I've put in. And I supposed I am now spending more time doing something all the time rather than trying to slow down.

I also discovered the hard way of how disconnected my parents are to my life compared to people who stay miles away from me. I realised it must be hard for them to hear about what I'm doing from others rather than from me...

~ttg @ Realized Tranquility of the Heart~

Restless

For the first time in my life, I am actually hoping that my phone signal dies.. to signify that the conversion is successful and I can change to a new telco provider before I board the plane tomorrow.

I'm also feeling strangely restless.. because I've made an investment, so now I crave for the result, or at least to get the product in hand! I have not felt such restlessness for a long time..

~ttg @ Realized Tranquility of the Heart~

IAS and IFRS

After cleaning up and throwing out my old Form 6 notes and papers, suddenly I need to do a project on financial policies.. and I suddenly recalled, I have learned about IAS before back in Form 6, and even had to memorize some of them!

Sadly, right now I can only recall that I had learned about them but I still can't really remember how to apply them. Looks like there are a lot of work to be done to get myself up to speed again.

This is really a "out of sight, out of mind" case. Nevermind, I am sure I will be able to catch-up again!

~ttg @ Realized Tranquility of the Heart~

Sleepy

At work and sleepy.. This is the 4th day in a row, for "normal working schedule + traffic jam". Yesterday on the way to work I felt sleepy too, but recovered at work. Today, I felt sleepy on the way to work and is still continuing to feel sleepy after half an hour doing some administrative stuff to my laptop..

Sigh, and I thought I felt refreshed earlier this week! I must keep on conditioning my mind to think so. I should be feeling ok, as I'm not working overtime and I did have enough hours of sleep albeit continuous dreams throughout the night.. maybe the dreams are the cause of the tiredness during daytime. I haven't had so many dreams for a long time.. wonder why they are appearing now but I don't remember much of them.

Maybe just one :) I was in HK, and I had a chance to sit on a jet plane operated by Mr Chow Yuen Fatt!! Haha.. the trip was either to the Artic or Antartica (strange!!). There were other people as well including 2 of my bosses, and 2 quite elderly ladies asked another passenger to help them to check in HK immigration.. seems like they somehow got in illegally to HK to make this flight! But I woke up before the flight could take off, and actually I also wanted to get off the plane because it seemed dangerous.. from HK to the North or South Pole? On a jet plane? Without any preparation? It was just weird, but still, rather nice to have CYF as the pilot!

~ttg @ Realized Tranquility of the Heart~

I&A

Attended my first I&A.. invoking the 28 Buddha's name for 21 rounds can be quite a toll on the throat.. but well, good that I've finally participated in one :)

~ttg @ Realized Tranquility of the Heart~

Do Not Judge

Sometimes in life we have difficulties which we cannot talk about.. that might lead others to make false conclusions of the situation. I hope that I will always remember this..

~ttg @ Realized Tranquility of the Heart~

The Four Brahmaviharas

This is yet another post about the brahmaviharas.. Can't help it. Ever since the retreat, I keep on reflecting on how much guidance I've had on how to manage my emotions, which emotions should I "choose" to have.. Yes, it's actually possible to choose which emotion to apply in various circumstances and most of the time I manage to pick one to apply. As long as they are one of these four, or any other good emotions, then I know I'm "safe".

The other one is concentration on breathing, which really helps tremendously to calm down my emotions and my thoughts.. Strangely, yesterday night before I went to sleep, I actually am able to see that whenever my thoughts are not in the present, or whenever I'm thinking about something, it's obviously not the present because I'm thinking either about the past or the future, my thoughts and emotions are stirred and I became more active in a sense which makes it harder to go to sleep, and I have to constantly tell my mind what I was thinking of, and bring it back to the present breath..

I think both works hand in hand to make me more mindful of what's going on..


~ttg @ Realized Tranquility of the Heart~

Thank You

It's year end, same as other people, it's a time which makes me feel like I'd like to thank a lot of people. Perhaps this feeling increase year by year. I have achieved a lot in the past year. I managed to get my life back into balance, I had my first two retreats, I read some sutras, I helped out my organization with some membership systems.. All this isn't my achievement alone. There were so many people along the way, and whatever we had achieved, it's something all of us achieved, it's not my achievement alone.

~ttg @ Realized Tranquility of the Heart~

Beginning Anew in 2012

Here's some questions for reflection from the StillWaterMPC newsletter:

In what ways have I acted wisely and skillfully, towards myself and others in 2011?

In 2011 were there actions I took (or actions I failed to take) that I regret? I now can see how they created suffering for myself or others.

Were there times I was hurt in 2011 and did not allow myself to fully experience my own suffering? Did I deny, suppress, minimize, or rationalize my suffering so that I was not able to acknowledge it to myself or others?

What can I learn from the ways I have acted in 2011? As I begin 2012, are there intentions I wish to set? Are there new ways of acting and responding that I wish to nourish?

Good questions for sharing. For me, I think I'll just write down the answers in my journal..

~ttg @ Realized Tranquility of the Heart~

Accounting for Non-Profit Organizations

Due to a recent mini project, I have to refresh my knowledge and memory about accounting.. Luckily can still remember a bit, as I haven't touched accounting since 2004 :)

~ttg @ Realized Tranquility of the Heart~

Enlightenment

From Still Water Mindfulness Practice Center newsletter dated Dec 21, 2011

From May 10, 1998 Dharma Talk by Thich Nhat Hanh:

I said before that if we have not made any mistakes, there is no way for us to learn. So that is why to look deeply, and to see the nature of the act, the nature of interbeing of the act in the light of non-self, we see that that is a kind of act, that is a kind of speech that has created suffering. That moment when you see it, when you recognize it, that is enlightenment, because enlightenment is always enlightenment of something, or about something. The moment when you see that this is the lack of skillfulness on your part and on the part of many ancestors who have transmitted the seed to you, then that is already enlightenment, that is already meditation, that is already deep looking. And out of that enlightenment you are motivated by a desire that you would not like to do that again. So that desire, that aspiration is a strong energy, a strong energy that can make you alive, that can help you to protect yourself, to protect all the future generations within you, and that insight is very liberating. And if you know that you are not going to do the same thing again, you are already free, and your ancestors are also free, and there is no need to be caught in your feeling of culpability.

May we always be blessed with continuous mini enlightenments in our lives.

~ttg @ Realized Tranquility of the Heart~