How It Feels Like to Quit

I must thank the ED for not making it hard for me to quit, maybe the process is really that simple, but I had a tough time yesterday waiting almost the whole afternoon to catch him when he's not on the phone, or in a meeting, to hand him that letter. Felt guilty for leaving the project at such timing, one month before the actual event. It's going to be tough to get a new person who would be familiar with all the things.

My horoscope in "the Sun" told me I must made some decisions yesterday, so that's what I did, it was also the last day to send in my signed offer letter.

So this is my first experience handing in a resignation letter, and also going for a job I got on my own. Well, I must explain a bit on what is meant by "getting a job on my own". I've been working as a temp staff in advertising company, which my aunt recommended to me; then did internship in another advertising company, also through the same aunt. Then worked one year with my lecturer, who had taught me two subjects and went with my team to Paris. And after that got this current job through MJ, and later the teacher, ML.

Now this new job, got it through the normal recruitment process. Sent in resume, went for preliminary interview and then the actual interview for the new position.

Emm... colleagues in... better stop "blogging"...

ttg

SH reminded me of a long ago dream

I once dreamed of becoming a piano teacher... how nice it would be to surround my life with just teaching and music... I mean playing music, I never believed I can really be a pro in singing, so I'm quite contented with using other instrument to make music, instead of using my own voice/body as an instrument.

Anyway, I told SH about my dilemma, I won't get any answer from my PM or the ED, of course they would prefer me to stay and they can't be encouraging me to go for the new job, unless it's a very cool job? Which, unfortunately, it's not that super cool, but it's enough for me. I was more motivated by the three lady managers who interviewed me, than the job itself. The three ladies look very nice to work with.

She gave me some sound answers, one of it suddenly talking about her own plan to take Masters in Education, she even has a 4-year-plan for that purpose, teaching in school for two years and in the meantime take MBA, then when she has the experience in teaching she can apply for the Masters in Education. Somehow it prompted me to tell her of how I thought of teaching piano!

I've told this "dream" of mine to quite a number of people on different occasions, and everytime I tell them, they encouraged me to go for it. I wonder why I am holding back, when it seems very clear (to those people I talked to) that, just go for music, even if it means taking a year off to study Diploma in Music, full time.

Maybe I am afraid to take this step. It's so different from what I've been studying. And it doesn't matter what kind of advice I gave to other people to do what they like, I can't seem to be taking the same medicine I'm giving to other people.

Back to the banking job, tomorrow I gotta phone one of the lady managers and ask her if I'm able to extend my employment in my current job? The HR lady is nice, she told me maybe you can speak to BT so that she can help you prioritise?

People in an organization, very very important element, they either do it so well that you would want to do business with them or be part of them, or they just have plain rude behaviour that you never want to speak to them again...

ttg

Am I Up to the Challenge?

I like to think I am, seriously thinking about taking up this "sales job". They told me I'll be liasing with the branch managers, and sometimes with the end consumers, if necessary.

I assume my job is to assist branch managers achieve their targets, giving them the support they need. I'll have a chance to look at all the banking consumer products, which I think will be extremely useful to me since I know almost nothing about banking, (yet managed to go through the interview).

I don't manage my finance, simply because I do not need to, I admit, my parents take care of all these things for me, which is not something I'm proud of. But I'm lazy to take charge of these things..

My contract also stated that I am to devote my time fully to the job, no involvement in outside business or group. Now, I am involved in some groups though they're unofficial, i wonder if it's counted? I probably will need to sacrifice my evenings if I need to, meaning to say job will be the priority and not the other things?

My PM told me to turn down the job offer, because it will be down to sales: car loans, home loans, etc, at the end of the day. My other boss who took me in asked me to stay longer in my current job saying "I'm sure they'll understand because this is an important conference" (referring to the event I'm working on)

Erm... more comments make me even more confuse, though this time round, my dad and my uncle were supportive, saying this is the bank to work in if you want to learn. About the slow increment, or the starting executive level, my dad response was "of course this will be the case as I have no experience in banking and I'm still considered a fresh grad." My lecturer also supported it, as the bank is a large diversified group, and I'll get all the loans (haha, contrary to the PM who said I'll need to sell all these loans). She however, doesn't think that banking is an interesting industry, or that I am really that interested in sales. Still it's worth going for it...

My decision? I'll take it... the only thing to settle is to ask for a later commencement date from the bank, and an earlier resignment date from my current employment. Which will leave me no holidays in between... sigh...

Am I up to the challenge then? At this moment, yes..

ttg

Stressful Little Box

Can't help but to feel "stressed" every time I launch the Outlook Express to check my work emails. They usually are requests, or even if it's notification of something, it will mean some follow up needs to be done somewhere in the future. And if you are the recipient of an email, you must read it and know what's inside the email, there's no way you can say "I don't know about it", because emails are meant to be read.

We are coming up with all sorts of technologies so called to "facilitate processes and work", but it's because of all these things that heightens expectations, and the employees/individuals get this mentality that "I must be able to perform". With all these "tools", "a little extra work" should be no problem. And with the little extra work, more little and little extra work will come...

ttg

Once In A While

Once in a while, I'll be so engrossed in internet browsing that I can spend the whole day in front of the PC downloading things, and clicking on the links one after another, the journey on the Internet begins with one click!

So here I am at nearly 3am in the morning searching for audio files and sheet music of "Once In A While" and "Moonlight and Roses"... which really brings pitiful results after hours of waiting, no thanks to the slow internet connection. Especially for "Once In A While", I downloaded a few other versions and not the one I want!

Anyway... once in a while, it's good to be searching hard for something instead of getting it all and not knowing how to appreciate it... and yes, it would be good if once in a while someone is thinking of me!!

ONCE IN A WHILE
Once in awhile,
will you try to give one little thought to me,
Though someone else may be nearer your heart.

Once in a while,
will you dream of the moments I shared with you,
Moments before we two drifted apart.

In love's smoldering ember,
just one spark may remain,
If love still can remember,
that spark may burn again.

I know that I d
Be contented with yesterday's memory,
Knowing you think of me once in a while.


ttg

It's the weekend!

Yeah... feeling good after sleeping the whole day!!

I'm using the floppy diskette again, the 3 1/2 inch diskette I' haven't been touching for a long time, all because my PC at work doesn't have a USB drive... so back to the old and conventional (not so conventional now) 3 1/2 inch floppy disk.

Yesterday my parents were stuck in the jam for 2 hours to pick me up from work... 7pm to 9pm for to and fro journey from Cheras Leisure Mall to Phileo Damansanra. And I've been staying back late till 7pm for three days last week.. wonder if I'll stay back even more in the weeks to come.

Halfway through my contract, and I'm somehow kinda hoping I get another offer, though not really sure want to take that or not.. but current job getting a bit routine already... operational kind of things... erm... not that I don't like it, just that I don't really love it either...

ttg

Lotus Not Blooming Anymore

The lotus buds just can't grow up to be full bloomed lotuses, and all this happened ever since I took a picture of a lotus bud, and that particular lotus bud never make it to a full bloom...

Also, I had been using that particular lotus plant as my title for the blog... somehow, suddenly made me remember why I named the blog "Lotus in My Backyard", to remind myself to follow the teachings of the Triple Gem, to have more patience, etc. ; which I am not doing...

Back to square one, must really be mindful of my resolutions, and with this title staring back at me everytime I wish to blog something, there's no reason why I should not be able to remind myself... again... is there something here I can use for the next IDAS?

ttg

another search for my name...

"Siliente", a Spanish word which means quiet or silent... quite like me hor?

ttg

am i that easy to read?

i must be, these are what my colleagues think of me

1. you look so stressed up! don't stress so much, take it easy...

2. she is very careful, read everything before make decision (when i was reading the menu before ordering my food... of course must read, cheapest dish is rm9.90, drinks around rm4)

3. sometimes don't need to take it so seriously what people say (i kena so many times with the website thingy, as if the one word i added made all the difference, so i started to really do whatever i'm instructed to, too tired to argue or to take such responsibility)

teacher said that it's a disadvantage to be an "open book"... put all your problems at the back of your head, it's too heavy to carry it in front... i am now going against all these rules - never breathe properly, and using my 66 face muscles...

ttg

The Christmas Shoes

Wonderful story and song... a tearjerker... Look at the lyrics, it kinda tell the story. Other links to visit to find out more:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0330152/

http://www.thecelebritycafe.com/movies/full_review/286.html

Go search for the audio file as well... :p

Lyrics: http://www.lyricsstyle.com/n/newsong/thechristmasshoes.html

Chorus:
Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight


ttg

How Ironic Life Could Be

Hmm...I see that someone discovers my blog already. Was planning to make it public, so it did appear in my profile for a couple of days. Then decided to keep it secret again, those who found out during that few days, let's just say that they are the ones meant to read my blog then.

::I deleted some more posts here... tired of blogging about these people... I'll just follow my own piece of advice I give to others... look from the other side and that might help shed some light on the darkness you are in... three more months to go...::

Hmm... one of my secondary school friends will be leaving Malaysia soon to study in Australia... This particular group of friend, we had been together for more than ten years; six of us, six different unis, six different courses, we are all so different. And we meet each other like once in a year now.

I wonder when one of us will get married... haha... because I really could not think of any other events that we will be together again, all of us in one place.

Working life... sigh... I must do something about it, spend so many hours working, for what?? I can trick myself into saying that I'm learning this and that from this job, but is it what I really want? I get the money, and the skills, but there is something more I want... just don't know what it is...

ttg