The big "I" - a one-letter-word which can be as important as it is unsignificant.
Important because, well, you need an object to identify your actions and your feelings, which some people would say, of course, that's the purpose of one's existense. On the other hand, it is equally insignificant because there are just so many "I"s in this world, or even this universe.
Back to what I was trying to get at. By reflecting from time to time, sometimes the answer would pop up that all my problems stem from the "I" perception, the "I" which is feeling and perceiving. Sometimes it makes me ponder upon the question for so long, that I would realise the perceiving "I" is the culprit behind it all. I am only afterall, another "I" among the many little "I"s. So why do I let this little "self" of mine deceive me into spending to many restless hours liking and not liking something because of how the "I" perceive? Sometimes by putting it aside I can make decisions faster, which is probably one thing I badly need - don't think too much!
ttg
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Sunday, December 25, 2005
What/where is the centre of my life?
To make myself "effective", I have been reading the book "7 Habits of Highly Successful People" by Stephen Covey for... I guess it's more than a year now? I somehow got to the third or fourth habit in the initial reading... then stopped reading... then have to read the book all over again from the first habit, anyway, it makes more sense though when you read things for the second time.
It's going to be 2006 soon. Perhaps I should really sit down at year end to answer some of the questions posed by Stephen Covey. I mean, no point reading and saying that I know these are the things he talked about in that book - know but no action is equivalent to don't know
The book mentioned things like work-centred, family-centred, possession-centred, enemy-centred... the advice is to be principle-centred, because if your life is centred on principles and values, it'll be a roadmap, to guide in life and in making decisions.
Maybe, maybe that's what I'm lacking, I don't have a fixed centre. Or my "centre"s keep on changing! My age is about to be a quarter of the century soon, and I'm still floating around. Must admit that I'm lazy to plan for my future, as the saying goes - failing to plan is planning to fail.
I'm actually not doing that badly in real life, just that when it comes to times when erm, the "mood swings" time, I'd kind of "close" myself off until the blues go away... This time the mood-swing lingers for a while, don't know whether it's the office or my colleagues or my mood swings that cause me repeating bouts of flu and sore throat. And now I'm on a five-day antibiotics, the doc gave me only five antibiotic tablets and ten tablets for running nose (five for day, and five for night)... and this cost me double the regular medical fee because of the supposedly very strong antibiotics.. into my third day now, let's see how much good it will do for me... what a waste... holiday season and I'm sick!
Next week will be on leave on 30th and 31st... maybe I'll think about what's the centre of my life...
It's going to be 2006 soon. Perhaps I should really sit down at year end to answer some of the questions posed by Stephen Covey. I mean, no point reading and saying that I know these are the things he talked about in that book - know but no action is equivalent to don't know
The book mentioned things like work-centred, family-centred, possession-centred, enemy-centred... the advice is to be principle-centred, because if your life is centred on principles and values, it'll be a roadmap, to guide in life and in making decisions.
Maybe, maybe that's what I'm lacking, I don't have a fixed centre. Or my "centre"s keep on changing! My age is about to be a quarter of the century soon, and I'm still floating around. Must admit that I'm lazy to plan for my future, as the saying goes - failing to plan is planning to fail.
I'm actually not doing that badly in real life, just that when it comes to times when erm, the "mood swings" time, I'd kind of "close" myself off until the blues go away... This time the mood-swing lingers for a while, don't know whether it's the office or my colleagues or my mood swings that cause me repeating bouts of flu and sore throat. And now I'm on a five-day antibiotics, the doc gave me only five antibiotic tablets and ten tablets for running nose (five for day, and five for night)... and this cost me double the regular medical fee because of the supposedly very strong antibiotics.. into my third day now, let's see how much good it will do for me... what a waste... holiday season and I'm sick!
Next week will be on leave on 30th and 31st... maybe I'll think about what's the centre of my life...
Sunday, December 18, 2005
YTL's 50th Anniversary Concert of Celebration
By luck or by chance, I found myself attending the concert... both my friend and I weren't aware about the ballot thing, and how lucky we were to get the tickets because my friend's colleague whom my friend got the tickets from, couldn't make it.
We saw band performance, Russell Watson (yes, he's very handsome), the Adelaide Symphony Orchestra with the very "yau yeng" conductor Mike Moran who switched from piano to conducting from time to time, and of course fireworks at the end of the concert
I don't know how it's like for everyone, but when I looked at people around me, seems like the more senior audience were enjoying the performance more. There's this uncle sitting behind us tapping his leg to the rhythm and singing along for the song Volare. He had a good voice and was singing out loudly. To my right, there's this old lady who moved her head/body to the songs... and we could see that she was singing along for Feniculi Fenicula.
It was an open-air concert, supposed to be quite grand, our YDP Agong and PM were there for the whole concert, though it drizzled towards the end of the show.
Russell Watson's performance was perfect, his voice was enchanting, he also danced and did a small rendition of "singing in the rain" when it drizzled. To be honest, before this I didn't know him at all although he's the most famous Tenor in UK?
The orchestra was great, and I enjoyed Mike Moran's conducting, and the way he conducted with one hand and played the piano with the other. Somehow piano players still captures my attention more...
Fireworks were of course fantastic... it was like an early Christmas and New Year celebration.
What should I say... a great concert indeed...
ttg
We saw band performance, Russell Watson (yes, he's very handsome), the Adelaide Symphony Orchestra with the very "yau yeng" conductor Mike Moran who switched from piano to conducting from time to time, and of course fireworks at the end of the concert
I don't know how it's like for everyone, but when I looked at people around me, seems like the more senior audience were enjoying the performance more. There's this uncle sitting behind us tapping his leg to the rhythm and singing along for the song Volare. He had a good voice and was singing out loudly. To my right, there's this old lady who moved her head/body to the songs... and we could see that she was singing along for Feniculi Fenicula.
It was an open-air concert, supposed to be quite grand, our YDP Agong and PM were there for the whole concert, though it drizzled towards the end of the show.
Russell Watson's performance was perfect, his voice was enchanting, he also danced and did a small rendition of "singing in the rain" when it drizzled. To be honest, before this I didn't know him at all although he's the most famous Tenor in UK?
The orchestra was great, and I enjoyed Mike Moran's conducting, and the way he conducted with one hand and played the piano with the other. Somehow piano players still captures my attention more...
Fireworks were of course fantastic... it was like an early Christmas and New Year celebration.
What should I say... a great concert indeed...
ttg
Monday, December 12, 2005
Inspired?
Was really really tired... yet today as I was trying to work, trying so hard to keep my eyes open, thoughts of the participants of the "I-Do-See" camp came into mind... erm... not that mindfully though... I wasn't mindful in work and wasn't mindful in guarding my thoughts... just tired... can't make myself more energetic...
Anyway, wonder where to write this, forum or blog or personal blog or post some pictures in fotopages.. ended up deciding just to simply type something on my own personal blog which I hope, doesn't require much thinking about what to write...
Got to know some of the participants better, and well, the one greatest appreciation I could get from the camp is to see that these young people are getting something out of it... and it's very touching to see "who" they are...
One participant lost something, something very valuable, if I were to lost it my facial expression would most certainly have changed. But she... she was so calm about it and she just replied, "well, nothing can be done, it's lost, it's an accident, let's do it again"... Wow... the words she said and the expression she had on her face... she was truly letting go and hold no grudges whatsoever... Sadhu... first teacher...
Another participant... well, he wouldn't know what he did, the impact of his action on me, and I wasn't close to him either. But, because he was so mindful and concentrated in what he was doing, and I, because of how the programme was arranged, had to follow his pace; it became my first walking meditation, disrupted at times because I had to take care not to let the light of the candle go off. I was focusing on three things, the candle, my footsteps and trying to pace myself 2 metres behind him; but only at the end of the walk when I turned back, those behind me were even more absorbed in the walking than me. Sadhu to them, I hope the walk was beneficial to them, and sadhu to this young fella who was so mindful that he unconsciously had led by example for the rest of us behind him in the line. By the way, walking slowly is very very difficult, a lot of times because of the slow movement I nearly lost my balance. When I lift my feet slowly off the ground then slowly push it forward, well... can really feel that I was going to trip! Again, Sadhu to my second teacher...
Third teacher, I could see that he was really doing something sincerely, hoping that one day the other party would feel it (not boy-girl relationship). And I really could offer him no advice, it was like there's nothing he could do but to continue to give and praying that hopefully someday the people on the other side would know it... Love is giving... and this participant gives...
Fourth teacher, one who was very dedicated in the task assigned to... so dedicated that he had done his best and still apologise if he hadn't done something...
To the one who reflected so much when serving others, always quiet when others say something, because this participant was really listening.... wishing him all the best... he's certainly someone who's sensitive to other people... that's my fifth teacher...
There are also people who are very compassionate, willing to give a bit more to save other people the trouble, although it wasn't their fault the thing was lost in the first place... this apply to one of the participants mentioned above....
There are many many other participants in the camp who had made you feel that you're just grateful to know that with these young people, there will always be hope in this world...
Organizing people.. that'll be another bunch of people who inspired other people... will write about them another day... didn't give in my all in this camp... not as much as I'd hope to be able to give... but to end it, like how I started the blog... been very tired and stressed lately... just would like to have some peace and quietness and rest... perhaps I took things too seriously... everything must be perfect... don't know how to let go...
ttg
Anyway, wonder where to write this, forum or blog or personal blog or post some pictures in fotopages.. ended up deciding just to simply type something on my own personal blog which I hope, doesn't require much thinking about what to write...
Got to know some of the participants better, and well, the one greatest appreciation I could get from the camp is to see that these young people are getting something out of it... and it's very touching to see "who" they are...
One participant lost something, something very valuable, if I were to lost it my facial expression would most certainly have changed. But she... she was so calm about it and she just replied, "well, nothing can be done, it's lost, it's an accident, let's do it again"... Wow... the words she said and the expression she had on her face... she was truly letting go and hold no grudges whatsoever... Sadhu... first teacher...
Another participant... well, he wouldn't know what he did, the impact of his action on me, and I wasn't close to him either. But, because he was so mindful and concentrated in what he was doing, and I, because of how the programme was arranged, had to follow his pace; it became my first walking meditation, disrupted at times because I had to take care not to let the light of the candle go off. I was focusing on three things, the candle, my footsteps and trying to pace myself 2 metres behind him; but only at the end of the walk when I turned back, those behind me were even more absorbed in the walking than me. Sadhu to them, I hope the walk was beneficial to them, and sadhu to this young fella who was so mindful that he unconsciously had led by example for the rest of us behind him in the line. By the way, walking slowly is very very difficult, a lot of times because of the slow movement I nearly lost my balance. When I lift my feet slowly off the ground then slowly push it forward, well... can really feel that I was going to trip! Again, Sadhu to my second teacher...
Third teacher, I could see that he was really doing something sincerely, hoping that one day the other party would feel it (not boy-girl relationship). And I really could offer him no advice, it was like there's nothing he could do but to continue to give and praying that hopefully someday the people on the other side would know it... Love is giving... and this participant gives...
Fourth teacher, one who was very dedicated in the task assigned to... so dedicated that he had done his best and still apologise if he hadn't done something...
To the one who reflected so much when serving others, always quiet when others say something, because this participant was really listening.... wishing him all the best... he's certainly someone who's sensitive to other people... that's my fifth teacher...
There are also people who are very compassionate, willing to give a bit more to save other people the trouble, although it wasn't their fault the thing was lost in the first place... this apply to one of the participants mentioned above....
There are many many other participants in the camp who had made you feel that you're just grateful to know that with these young people, there will always be hope in this world...
Organizing people.. that'll be another bunch of people who inspired other people... will write about them another day... didn't give in my all in this camp... not as much as I'd hope to be able to give... but to end it, like how I started the blog... been very tired and stressed lately... just would like to have some peace and quietness and rest... perhaps I took things too seriously... everything must be perfect... don't know how to let go...
ttg
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