Was really really tired... yet today as I was trying to work, trying so hard to keep my eyes open, thoughts of the participants of the "I-Do-See" camp came into mind... erm... not that mindfully though... I wasn't mindful in work and wasn't mindful in guarding my thoughts... just tired... can't make myself more energetic...
Anyway, wonder where to write this, forum or blog or personal blog or post some pictures in fotopages.. ended up deciding just to simply type something on my own personal blog which I hope, doesn't require much thinking about what to write...
Got to know some of the participants better, and well, the one greatest appreciation I could get from the camp is to see that these young people are getting something out of it... and it's very touching to see "who" they are...
One participant lost something, something very valuable, if I were to lost it my facial expression would most certainly have changed. But she... she was so calm about it and she just replied, "well, nothing can be done, it's lost, it's an accident, let's do it again"... Wow... the words she said and the expression she had on her face... she was truly letting go and hold no grudges whatsoever... Sadhu... first teacher...
Another participant... well, he wouldn't know what he did, the impact of his action on me, and I wasn't close to him either. But, because he was so mindful and concentrated in what he was doing, and I, because of how the programme was arranged, had to follow his pace; it became my first walking meditation, disrupted at times because I had to take care not to let the light of the candle go off. I was focusing on three things, the candle, my footsteps and trying to pace myself 2 metres behind him; but only at the end of the walk when I turned back, those behind me were even more absorbed in the walking than me. Sadhu to them, I hope the walk was beneficial to them, and sadhu to this young fella who was so mindful that he unconsciously had led by example for the rest of us behind him in the line. By the way, walking slowly is very very difficult, a lot of times because of the slow movement I nearly lost my balance. When I lift my feet slowly off the ground then slowly push it forward, well... can really feel that I was going to trip! Again, Sadhu to my second teacher...
Third teacher, I could see that he was really doing something sincerely, hoping that one day the other party would feel it (not boy-girl relationship). And I really could offer him no advice, it was like there's nothing he could do but to continue to give and praying that hopefully someday the people on the other side would know it... Love is giving... and this participant gives...
Fourth teacher, one who was very dedicated in the task assigned to... so dedicated that he had done his best and still apologise if he hadn't done something...
To the one who reflected so much when serving others, always quiet when others say something, because this participant was really listening.... wishing him all the best... he's certainly someone who's sensitive to other people... that's my fifth teacher...
There are also people who are very compassionate, willing to give a bit more to save other people the trouble, although it wasn't their fault the thing was lost in the first place... this apply to one of the participants mentioned above....
There are many many other participants in the camp who had made you feel that you're just grateful to know that with these young people, there will always be hope in this world...
Organizing people.. that'll be another bunch of people who inspired other people... will write about them another day... didn't give in my all in this camp... not as much as I'd hope to be able to give... but to end it, like how I started the blog... been very tired and stressed lately... just would like to have some peace and quietness and rest... perhaps I took things too seriously... everything must be perfect... don't know how to let go...
ttg
No comments:
Post a Comment