Was talking to a guy friend, considered my oldest guy friend as I don't really keep in touch with those I met earlier. Not to say we are really such close friends as we don't see each other often. But he's a good friend in prompting me to say some of the things that I seldom discuss with other people, especially with guys.
The conversation tonight brought me back to some of the things that happened in my life, which probably had left quite a huge impact on who I am today, and reminded me of some of the lessons learned the hard way. Again, not to say they were exactly hard lessons, just some regrets thrown in as well, and yet, things had already passed and I had taken the lessons and moved on... hm, I'm kind of contradicting myself here... saying that I regret things and saying I had moved on... so does that mean I had moved on? To me, I think so, unless there are counter-arguments that say when you move on you don't regret things anymore?
Which brings me to another quote by MH, she said it in Chinese but I can't remember the exact words, but the essence of it is something like this "in life there surely must be some regrets"... ahh... I guess sometimes when you think about regrets you will realise you have actually grown because of it... hard lessons usually are very good teachers...
Now suddenly I got the urge to analyse myself again... along the years I have actually taken risks when I can, I judge a lot of things as risky anyway, things not done in the conventional way would be considered risky, and somehow seems exciting and adventurous to me, which encouraged me to try it (you would be surprised what I had tried before, and what I still think I would like to try, I am not the goody-goody girl you see at religious gathering!). Most have turned out to be good, and yet some like what I talked about today, might not be that good but left me a more informed person of the real world out there.
Don't know why I suddenly feel quite old/matured because can see things from more perspectives, looking back at who I was back in secondary school days... I am quite different now... I am getting long winded, and I haven't been writing like this for a long long time... and this is exactly the way I would have written to this guy friend of mine... very philosophical kind of things... which surprisingly, he would replied! But his replies always came months later... haha... and he never remembered what he told me, well... doesn't matter anyway... as long as I can remember... hehe... and he said it's dangerous to tell me things because I remember everything!
Well, he's really one of a kind friend... hmm... and with all my other friends, they are also one of a kind... tell me someone's name and I would have a picture of that person in my mind (as in attitude/behaviour/personality) and no two friends would share the same picture... so it's kinda interesting... which reminds me I should treasure all my friends even more...
This week, I ran into 3 friends at LRT: one ex-roommate, one ex-collegemate and one ex-secondary school mate. And had received a call from an old collegue, made a call to my lecturer, made a call to someone in the government department I had worked with and admired very much for her work integrity, got a suggestion by an old friend since primary school to go to temple, met an old friend online from primary school, saw a ex-secondary school mate but didn't say "hi" to her cause wasn't sure it's her (later found out it should have been her) .. in short... met so many old acquaintances that I feel that my life has been quite "rich". I do not need to be popular as in someone who have lots of friends... but simply having a few good friends and keeping in good terms with the rest.. wow... what a difference such circle of acquaintances could make to one's life...
Ahh.. thanks MT for the long 3 hours plus conversation... (I use the initial you would probably always use but I would seldom use, as I would call you by another name... well... for blogging purpose it's sometimes better to be a bit secretive and mysterious!)
Don't know whether MT is reading this... I have told him a lot of things but there are also things you just have to bring to the grave... Why? Probably cause I am still growing up... and when you are still immature about some things you would never mention them to the other people...
ttg
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